


WASP-12b

by Mochi (spacestationtrustfund)



Category: Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Gen, Marius Is Literally A Seabird, Multi, Puns & Word Play, Space Opera, Timestamp, why does that tag exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 20:42:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19797412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacestationtrustfund/pseuds/Mochi
Summary: A timestamp forthis.





	WASP-12b

**Author's Note:**

> I call this sort of thing a **quadrabble** —it's a [drabble](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drabble) in fourfold.

Marius finally gets up the courage to ask, “Do you—not like Enjolras?”

Grantaire snorts in barely concealed disdain—most likely at the question and not Marius, but still it stings, peroxide on a bad scrape—and, instead of answering, merely says, “Tell me, Pontmercy, have you ever heard of WASP-12b? It’s an extra-solar planet that orbits the star WASP-12, because such things are only christened in terms of their stars; any satellite has no existence of itself to speak of save for that which it has in relation to its star. Anyway, it orbits far too close to WASP-12, which means both are headed towards planetary entropy—WASP-12b is slowly dying, because its orbit is in too close a proximity to its star. An estimated nine million years remain before its theorised death, of course, which is a time frame that we as humans can barely conceptualise, since we’ll be long dead before such things ever reach _their_ own deaths—but in terms of celestial bodies, and naturally this is my topic, although I don’t dare to spécialise _per se_ —in terms of the stars, this is unusual. Black holes, I’m sure you’ve heard of the theories, how they draw in light all about them—personally I think it’s nonsense, but I suppose it could be taken on an individual basis in terms of inconclusive data—stars sucked into the vortex of the void, you know how it is. The fact in of itself is the party. A _fête divers_ , one might say.”

This isn’t the answer Marius meant, not in the least, but he doesn’t try to puzzle out the cryptic response. Something tells him he isn’t going to get a better explanation than this one.

“Ah, but you do know that such planets are often known to be dry,” says Bossuet, sitting down next to Marius at the table.

“I have a dry wit, if that counts,” says Grantaire. “Like champagne. It’s also getting hotter, did you consider that part? Like Iupiter, scorned!—by his wife and harem of mistresses, thus seeking shelter in the arms of—of some golden youth, perhaps—”

“Bad analogy,” says Joly, who takes the seat on the other side of Marius. “How about planet BS-R?”

“I haven’t heard of that one,” says Grantaire, with a crooked smile that’s almost a leer.

“The rest of us have,” Bossuet murmurs into his drink, “extraneously.”

**Author's Note:**

> WASP-12b is a real exoplanet which really does exist. (BS-R, however, exists only dans le monde de Grantaire.) WASP-12b is a class of exoplanet known as a _hot Jupiter_ , hence Grantaire's "scorned Iupiter" reference. The "golden youth" is, of course, Ganymede. Also, Grantaire does not believe in black holes. This is not a belief which I share: I believe they do certainly exist! Just because no photographic evidence exists does not mean that the object in question does not, nor that the object in question has no _other_ proof of its existence.


End file.
